Middle of the semester blues are a regularity for me.
I have been in college for nine years now and every semester, I lose my interest at this half way point. Happily, my interest always rebounds and I reassert myself with the kind of academic rigor that most find commendable, if not a little freaky and nerdy.
This semester, of course, is different as I wrangle with the added stress of "Am I going to have a baby today?". It is hard to get too involved in anything when one is in this state of mind. Brushing one's teeth seems too lengthy of a distraction, much less focusing on a research project.
I know that when baby Ella arrives, my tiredness will soar to new levels. But, somehow, I feel that my life will return to some type of normalcy when she gets here. That is, the waiting, the not-knowing, the anticipation, is way more time-consuming and distracting than caring for an infant.
I like to know what to expect everyday, and the last month has been hell in this regard.
Perhaps, though, we'll all have a good, hearty laugh at this sentiment in a few weeks when I am literally getting no sleep, trying to type away on papers with a wee babe wedged between my breast and the keyboard.
The grass is always greener, right?
2 comments:
Great post, I know how you feel. This is always the time of year when I think I want to quit with just a BA and not continue to get my Masters degree. I guess thats why they call it "short term sacrifice", I sure hope the "Long term gains" pay off!
You are doing great. I didn't have to do anything while I was pregnant, just being pregnant made me go crazy. You are taking classes and going to class after the baby Ella arrives? Well, women may be weak, but mothers are the strongest. Good luck, and I'm sure you will do fine.
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